I wonder...

Tonight, I want to bring you into a world you may not be too familiar with. This world I speak of is one where I find myself. I didn’t necessarily plot the course to get here. It is not the place I would like to stay. Nevertheless here I am.

Let mee begin by telling you a couple of stories. Names will be changed to protect the innocent, or the guilty, whatever the case maybe.

Story number one: A day in the mountains.

They had been announcing in church the stake would be having a service day. We were responsible for fixing up a camp ground north of us. We were to meet at the stake center and go on up as a group.

When I got to the stake center I was expecting to see families. All I say where men.  

“Did I miss that this was a priesthood responsibility?”

“Oh no, we are glad to have you help.”

I thought about backing out. But, it was free ride to spend the day in the Sawtooths.

I enjoyed the solitude, the fresh air, and manual labor. Solitude? You ask. Yes, there were a number of men there. They were married or teenagers.

I wonder…

How uncomfortable or cautious should I feel when talking to married men?

How long can I just sit and chat with them? At work? At church?

Do I need to keep it work/church related?

Is anything personal allowed?

How do you make friends with others who are in a different world i.e., women married with children?

Story number two: A chance meeting.

It was actually a planned meeting. It was random happenstance that I was there. I had been asked to go only 10 hours before hand. I was excited to go; we were to be talking about girls’ camp.

Before we broke up into our separate groups the stake presidency was to give us some instruction. I don’t think I have ever been this fond of a stake presidency. In the past I might have recognized a name, or face of one or all three. I often enjoyed listening to them teach. With my current stake presidency I feel that I can approach each one of them with anything. I looked forward to hearing what they have to say.

The Higher Priesthood, what a blessing it is. It seems the topic has come up a lot. When it does I have a hard time keeping my emotions inside. As President Z talked I doodled. I was trying so hard to not let it bother mee. I agreed with everything said. I would gladly be a member of the choir.

I wonder…

If home teachers of single sisters know how much they are needed?

How important it is we feel comfortable enough to call you when we are sick in body or heart?

How frustrating it is when you feel like you have called half the brethren in the ward to find someone?

Next we are talking about the youth.

***I didn’t record the event, so these are not direct quotes***

Question: “What does a young women have to have before going to the temple?”

Responder A: “A testimony”

Questioner: “Yes… what else does she need?”

Responder B: “A worthy man to take her to the temple.”

Questioner: “Yes!” He moves on…

Responder A: “Do we really want our young women believing they have to be getting married to go to the temple?”

I believe there was a side comment.

Questioner: “Or a mission call.”…again moving on…

Responder A: “I went through the temple two years before my mission.” (It was actually three…)

This is an example of a myth which continues to be perpetuated. “Marry a return missionary in the temple and all will be well.”

I wonder…

Have you ever thought about living on a concrete slab?

I am an idealist. 100% believe being married in the temple is the way to go. It is the way to start. Come along for a quick analogy. YM/YW is a preparation stage. Plans are made, skills are learned and refined. Marriage in the temple is a very solid foundation for a great life. The home still needs to be built.

Can we talk more about the sweat, the tears?

What about the frustration with warped boards and imperfect timing?

Is there fear that if the hard times are talked about they will want to back away?

What about the possibility of not getting married in this life?

Do we get to learn how to be single?

I was Responder A. The biggest thing that kept mee from walking out was the two sisters sitting between mee and the isle. I decided later a reason I was so upset. Earlier that same day I had a thought…”I am not married, so what is my purpose in life, what am I suppose to be doing?” And there I had it confirmed. I was supposed to get married.

To be fair, I know President X responded to my statements. It was reported to mee that he validated everything I had said. I however, missed it. My focus was on trying to keep the tears inside. I failed miserably. President C (he he, get it Presidency, President C) stopped mee later to thank mee for my comments.

  

Now what? Only God knows, and I will leave it in his hands. I will also continue to pester him. And, continue to do those things which will insure blessings.

I wonder...

will I remember to recognize my trails as blessings?

That each day is another opportunity to become more prepared to return to the home I long for?

Sincerely,

Your Single Adult Awareness Activist

I was some what hesitant about posting this on a public blog. I am a sociologist. I know the manner in which I was raised has an enormous impact on the thoughts I have, and expectations for life. I am also not worried about revealing the truth. For anyone who may want to respond to this with; “See, I knew those Mormons were all {insert negative adjective here}. Know this, I know for myself The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the Lord’s only true and living church on the earth.