I wonder...

Tonight, I want to bring you into a world you may not be too familiar with. This world I speak of is one where I find myself. I didn't necessarily plot the course to get here. It is not the place I would like to stay. Nevertheless here I am.

Let mee begin by telling you a couple of stories. Names will be changed to protect the innocent, or the guilty, whatever the case maybe.

Story number one: A day in the mountains.

They had been announcing in church the stake would be having a service day. We were responsible for fixing up a camp ground north of us. We were to meet at the stake center and go on up as a group.

When I got to the stake center I was expecting to see families. All I say where men.  

“Did I miss that this was a priesthood responsibility?”

“Oh no, we are glad to have you help.”

I thought about backing out. But, it was free ride to spend the day in the Sawtooths.

I enjoyed the solitude, the fresh air, and manual labor. Solitude? You ask. Yes, there were a number of men there. They were all married or teenagers.

I wonder…

• How uncomfortable or cautious should I feel when talking to married men?
• How long can I just sit and chat with them? At work? At church?
• Do I need to keep it work/church related?
• Is anything personal allowed?
• How do you make friends with others who are in a different world i.e., women married with children?

Story number two: A chance meeting.

It was actually a planned meeting. It was random happenstance that I was there. I had been asked to go only 10 hours before hand. I was excited to go; we were to be talking about Girls’ Camp.

Before we broke up into our separate groups the stake presidency was to give us some instruction. I don’t think I have ever been this fond of a stake presidency. In the past I might have recognized a name, or face of one or all three. I often enjoyed listening to them teach. With my current stake presidency I feel that I can approach each one of them with anything. I looked forward to hearing what they have to say.

The Higher Priesthood, what a blessing it is. It seems the topic has come up a lot. When it does I have a hard time keeping my emotions inside. As President Z talked I doodled. I was trying so hard to not let it bother mee. I agreed with everything said. I would gladly be a member of the choir.

I wonder…

• If home teachers of single sisters know how much they are needed?
• How important it is we feel comfortable enough to call you when we are sick in body or heart?
• How frustrating it is when you feel like you have called half the brethren in the ward to find someone?

Next we are talking about the youth.

***I didn't record the event, so these are not direct quotes***

Question: “What does a young women have to have before going to the temple?”
Responder A: “A testimony”
Questioner: “Yes… what else does she need?”
Responder B: “A worthy man to take her to the temple.”
Questioner: “Yes!” He moves on…
Responder A: “Do we really want our young women believing they have to be getting married to go to the temple?”
I believe there was a side comment.
Questioner: “Or a mission call.”…again moving on…
Responder A: “I went through the temple two years before my mission.” (It was actually three…)

This is an example of a myth which continues to be perpetuated. “Marry a return missionary in the temple and all will be well.”

I wonder…

• Have you ever thought about living on a concrete slab?

I am an idealist. 100% believe being married in the temple is the way to go. It is the way to start. Come along for a quick analogy. YM/YW is a preparation stage. Plans are made, skills are learned and refined. Marriage in the temple is a very solid foundation for a great life. The home still needs to be built.

• Can we talk more about the sweat, the tears?
• What about the frustration with warped boards and imperfect timing?
• Is there fear that if the hard times are talked about they will want to back away?
• What about the possibility of not getting married in this life?
• Do we get to learn how to be single?

I was Responder A. The biggest thing that kept mee from walking out was the two sisters sitting between mee and the isle. I decided later a reason I was so upset. Earlier that same day I had a thought…”I am not married, so what is my purpose in life, what am I suppose to be doing?” And there I had it confirmed. I was supposed to get married.

To be fair, I know President X responded to my statements. It was reported to mee that he validated everything I had said. I however, missed it. My focus was on trying to keep the tears inside. I failed miserably. President C (he he, get it Presidency, President C) stopped mee later to thank mee for my comments.

  

Now what? Only God knows, and I will leave it in his hands. I will also continue to pester HIM. And, continue to do those things which will insure blessings.

I wonder...

• Will I remember to recognize my trails as blessings?
• That each day is another opportunity to become more prepared to return to the home I long for?

Sincerely,

Your Single Adult Awareness Activist

I was some what hesitant about posting this on a public blog. I am a sociologist. I know the manner in which I was raised has an enormous impact on the thoughts I have, and expectations for life. I am also not worried about revealing the truth. For anyone who may want to respond to this with; “See, I knew those Mormons were all {insert negative adjective here}. Know this, I know for myself The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the Lord’s only true and living church on the earth.